Rad Brothers - The ultimate gaijin hang-out! Ask any gaijin in
Sapporo about the weirdest place to go and he/she'll direct you to Rad. It's
the kind of place where all the night owl weirdos go to party until 6am at
weekends. I had kind of a love-hate relationship with Rad, because some days
it was just too strange, with guys dancing naked on the tables and shit, and
some gay guys and Russian prostitutes which I couldn't ignore. But I also met
some very cool people, like Japanese hostesses and strippers, famous musicians
(some dude called Dorian?), and millionaires. I remember meeting some Japanese
who'd studied abroad - believe me, you haven't laughed until you see a
Japanese trying to do an impression of that scene in Taxi Driver 'You lookin'
at me? Well theres nobody else here?! Shitheel..' Bloody hilarious!!. I picked up a lot of
girls here, but you tend to find a lot of the head-case women here, you know,
fruitcakes of the type that you see at 4:00am in the morning, not dangerous,
just the type who're always moody, and think they're so much more deep
than everybody else - still kinda sexy though. That's okay for a lay, but I prefer easier-going
chicks. Anyway, Rads is the kind of place you go to chill
after going to the nightclub, and watch the sun go up -- it's got a huge wall
window surrounding it so you can see all the weird shit that goes on inside
before you enter. Real kind of New York, big town atmosphere in there some
nights. It's located around South 5, or, just along the main road that leads
into Susikino, quite close to Nakajima Koen. Don't go to Rad Brothers II
because it sucks. And watch out for the asshole bartended, who seems like a
nice guy when you first meet him, but will constantly try to chat up any sexy
girl that you walk in with as soon as your back's turned. Not that he could
steal a girl from this good-looking gaijin, but as for you boys...j/k..
Oh, and watch out for that gay Black guy that's always there!
350 Yen Bar - Not so much of a foreigner bar, but a hell of a lot
of foreigners go there, and you find a lot of sexy girls going there at
night-time. Usually they're party-goers, hostesses or strippers -- my kinda
crowd!. My and my buddies used to go there at around 9 on a Friday night
and it would always be packed full of ko-gyaru (see Types of Chick), so there
isn't many brain-cells floating about, but plenty of visuals.
It's also got a good Nomi-hodai (all you can drink) for 1500
Yen, which has about 50 cocktails to choose from. But they always give gaijin
the English menu, which only has about 10 cheap-ass drinks on it. Don't be
fooled, look at the Japanese menu, which is written in katakana, an easier
to read version of Japanese. I reckon this
is a trick to stop gaijin choosing the more expensive drinks. You see,
Japanese choose a Nomi-hodai instead of just buying drinks a round at a time,
but usually they only have 4 or 5 drinks and they're shit-faced. Gaijin just
keep drinking away for the hour and a half you get, and probably drink more
than 1500 Yens worth of booze. Therefore, they disguise the better drink's menu
carefully in Japanese, which a lot of foreigners can't read. And sometimes when you go to a Nomi-hodai
place, they're not too keen on serving gaijin promptly. But the 350 Yen Bar
really isn't too bad. They got to know my face regularily, probably because I
always laughed at their trying-to-look cool hairstyles. But they know a lot of
foreigners can't read katakana, so they won't even tell you about the Japanese
menu. Menu kudasai!. Anyway, there are two 350's, one on the main street in
Susikino (same as Rad), around South 2, I forgotten where the other one is,
but it's not as good anyway.
Bazoku - I don't think it's called this anymore, but a lot of
gaijin know it by this name, because that's what it's famous for. It's pretty
difficult to find actually, so here you go - From the main road where Rad and
350 are find Tanuki Koji (the overhead arcade) and walk down and you will see
eventually see a side street to the right with a SUNKUS convenience store.
Sunkus = Thanks in Japanese pronounciation (su-n-kus) geddit? haha, took me 5 months
before I worked that out..
Bazoku is in the building on that street with the steps leading down. Okay
dude? Anyway, this isn't a bad little joint, it's got a lot of the older
married foreigners as regulars, so you can chat to someone who's lived there
for a long time. It's also got cheap food, but not really so many birds, so it's
not really my kind of place, cause I prefer dance type music and associated
women, but a lot of my pals went to Bazoku all the time. It's only a shitty little
dive though, and sometimes it can be packed. Try it, I dunno.
Beifutei - I really don't know why this place is popular with some
gaijin. For me it sucks, the drinks are a rip-off (with tax), and so is the food.
The only good think about it is the owner looks cool. Apparently, a lot of
English and Scottish guys go there at around 7:30 and 12 on Friday nights, but
they're like, older guys and about as exciting to talk to as the Brady Bunch. They put an ad in the Sapporo
newspaper saying 'Don't bother the gaijin around the bar'.. Well it's like, don't worry, if I ever feel like I'm 'Japanese' enough to join your condescending ranks, maybe I will. Then again, maybe I'll just always be friendly to other foreigners, and help them out when they're new in Japan and just wanting to meet a few other gaijin who can give them some useful housing advice perhaps, or even teach them a bit of Japanese if that's what they're after.
Yeah you gotta watch out for assholes like that, foreigners who've been in Japan too long and've fooled themselves into thinking they're some kind of elite just because they can say 'How are you?' in 20 different ways, and they have a couple of kids in Japanese high school. Most of them are Far Away Freds anyway (look in the Other Dudes site :-)).Around South 2, West 3. Not
highly recommended.
Sassenach's Cafe - Like it says - a cafe, but every two Fridays it
has an international party. I've got really good memories of this place. It's essentially an English style restaurant
(Sassenach is Gaelic for Englishman) run by a guy from Kent called David,
who's a safe bloke, and want's to come back to England in 2 or 3 years. So,
if he ain't there anymore when you go, you know why. Anyway, the international
parties are a good place to meet the more intelligent types of girls (is that
a good thing?), who are in the late 20's bracket range usually. It's an
excellent place to start having a few drinks and meet a few people, before you
head down to one of the nightclubs. It's only 1500 Yen for 3 strong
drinks, and you do get a lot of nice looking girls, so check it out. And Dave's a
good guy who'll help out anyone who get's into shit (like I did for example). Say hello
to David from Kris the Hastings guy who used to work for Junko eh?
why you are at it. Odori - East 7, that is.
Loco Tonte - Ohhh, what a dive, if you want to see a bunch of
weird, foreigners, with 'desperately needs to get laid' written on their
forehead, then go here. It's one up is that it has a very nice balcony with a
view over King Xhmu's, so at least you can watch all the flange go into that
place, and dream of the day when you'll be able to afford the entrance fee to
go there..No, I have to say, this place is dorky, it's mainly a gaijin
hangout, but it's small, it's shit. I met my first Japanese homo in there too. Euuwww..Just don't bother.
EAT OUTS
New York Nuts - Really good but difficult to find burger joint,
probably one of the tastiest burgers I've had in Japan. It's located in one
of the skyscrapers near Odori-Koen and so you get a real nice panoramic view
of the city while eating. When you get there, I really recommend the Super
Nuts Burger. It's a huge freshly made cheeseburger with all kinds of sauce
and salad, with some chips, not the skanky bought from 7-11 variety, but cut
from potatoe in front of you. Oh man, this is making me hungry. It'll cost
you about 900 Yen, so a little expensive, but worth a try. Effing tasty, but
of course, nothing beats the English (or is that Arabic) Doner Kebab, which
I couldn't find in Sapporo. Shit dude! :=(
Sapporo Council Building - This is for eating when you're really
broke. It's a little known place which is right next to Odori Koen's main
block, on the basement floor of the main Council Building. Apparently, this
is where all the drunks/bums etc go for a meal, so I fit in perfectly.
Remember your school cafeteria, it's just like that, with a bunch of nice
old ladies screaming at eachother during the main lunch hour. Here you can
pick up a bento or set of things like rice, miso soup (tasty), some
pickle things, and a main serving, usually something like chicken slices in
Japanese sauce or something, and it's all usually below 500 Yen. And it's
tasty too, I used to ride my bike down there at around 12 noon when all the
sexy office girls from upstairs are having their lunch in there. And all the
bums.
Denki Shokujo - Yeah, don't ask me about the name, I know it
sounds like a gay hair-dresser. Actually in Japanese it translates into
something like, Electric Diner, but luckily it's not the kind of place you
find with the same name on American highways with some hillbilly Inbred Jed
and his wife cooking you some crispy black bacon with ten year old potatoes
used for chips. No, this is quite a cosy old place, far away from Sapporo
town centre, but if you live anywhere near Happy House, it's pretty close. I
can't remember the exact location, it must be around South 1, East 20 or
something. But it's kinda difficult the find, so it's better to go somewhere
with someone who's been there. The reason this place is so popular is a)
because it's dead cheap. And b) because it has a real nice atmosphere to it,
kind of like Old Japan or something. The waiters wear kimonos, and all the
decorations are like the 50's. You can't help feeling like some visiting
foreign soldier or something, with the moody lights, and the enka music in
the background. No birds though. Never mind, a great place to go on Sundays
or before heading down the town.
Burger Joints - You know, MacDonalds, and the Korean owned Lotteria. Well, actually
thats Ma-ku-do-na-ru-do-zu and Ro-te-ri-a in Japanese pronounciation. I just
wanted to mention the differences between theirs and ours. Firstly, I reckon
the milkshake taste more powdery. Or maybe that's just me. Secondly, they
got teriyaki burgers, which are just plain ol' burgers with teriyaki sauce
in it (trust me, it tastes good). Umai!!. But that's about all. Burgers are
a little cheaper there than in the UK, so its is a good place to go if
you're broke until Monday. You don't need me to tell you where they are in
Sapporo as you can't miss them they're that big. Ok, you won't understand the Japanese so here's what you say .1)
Chi-zu-ba-a-ga onegaishimasu. (Gizzus a cheeseburger mate) followed by that
you'll hear some crap to which you say) 2) Eeeee, Ko-ra arigato (Uuuh, I'll
have a Coke) 3) Hai, Koko desu (Yeah, I'll eat here, big smile)
4) Doomo (Cheers dude!). There ya go! One reason I mention these places is
that, like any other country, they are always just full of sexy young babes,
esp kogyaru, just using up their money from part-time jobs on burgers and
fries and waiting for a handsome gaijin like me to come and practice some
bad Japanese on them. Yes my friend, many a time I had a burger when I
wasn't hungry as I looked into the window of the Susikino Lotteria and saw a
bunch of babes gazing back idly. In between hanging out at Sega World, and
teaching, this was my main destination for babes. Try those Lotteria burgers -
they're even better than Macdonalds.
Bikkuri Donkey - Ha, ha, don't you just love JapEnglish. This one
means, Surprised Donkey! - well think about it, wouldn't you be surprised if
you were a donkey, and some crazy Japster cook came at you licking his lips and swinging at you
with a machete? No, just kidding it's just plain old cow's arse served at
this place. Tastes pretty good too. That's the best god-damn steak I've had
in my life. One word of advice is, you may think Victoria Steak, and Bikkuri
Donkey are the same, but I'm telling you, Bikkuri Donkey is much much better
tasting, and the same price. It's kind of a small meal though, very tasty,
but built for the Japanese appetite. Try the Cheese Cross steak, you'll love
it. There are Bikkuri Donkey's in Chuo-ku and in Pole Town, the underground
town. The only advantage Victoria Steak has over Bikkuri is that with
Victoria Steak you can pay, say, an extra 180 Yen and get unlimited Coke's
or free salad and stuff. Great for putting in a little doggy bag when
nobody's looking and munching at your own leisure in the privacy of your home.
Los Gatos - Obviously I could probably go on about 20 other
restaurants or good places to eat, because Sapporo is full of them. But that
would just take too much room on this page, so I thought I'd just mention
one more that really needs mentioning. This is an Italian restaurant (well,
serves Italian food), in Susikino. Where the food is just superb. It isn't
that cheap, and it isn't that large, but the food is just damn good. I tried
some kind of cheese omelette with pork and sauces which I can still remember
the taste of. I dunno, maybe I'm biased because I grew up eating Italian
food, but I just think it's the best in the world. I mean, sure you can have
small little Chinese or Japanese meals which are satisfactory and tasty, but
Italian just gives me that taste explosion from a big chunky meal with lumps
of cheese and meat and little herbs of oregano and .... AAAGH!!, man, I
gotta stop. Phew, so, be careful not to choose the shitty Los Gatos near to
Sega World, because the food there is just average. The other one is
somewhere like West 2 South 1 or something, but it closes earlier than Los
Gatos 2 which is open all night.
So you've had a cocktail and something to eat, but the fat lady hasn't sung yet. It's about that time you got a lay, down at the:
NIGHTCLUBS! YEAH!
Club Mirror - First on the list is the newish Club Mirror,
which opened around late 99'. It's located off the main road to Susikino
just around South 2, West 2, and has a big cone outside with 'Mirror'
written on it so it's not too hard to find. It's got two floors, the first
one is kind of like a Chinese style nightclub, with seats around the
centre where people can sit and smooch, and a dj doing his thang while
drunks dance to the R & B music usually played there. Downstairs is
the main dance hall, where you sometimes get some decent dance music and a
few nice chicks, not to mention the occasional gaijin sprawling around. I
can't say I really liked this place so much. It's worth a try but to be
honest, most of the girls who like this kind of place go to Bar Isn't It?
which is just that little bit funkier, and, well, I just follow the girls man. Drinks here are a mixture of
cocktails and beers, costing around 500 - 700 Yen each. Alright S'ppose.
1000 Yen on the door with a free drink. As a word of warning, I never scored in here, the atmosphere's
a bit too relaxed and laid back, and not so full of sexual energy like --
Bar Isn't It? - This has to be my favourite place in Sapporo to
be honest, I probably would have gone to King Xhmu's more regularily if
I'd had the cash but this place is just so shit hot. It's actually a chain
around Japan, with Bar Isn't It?'s all around Tokyo and Osaka. It's called
Bar Isn't It? but it's friendlier nickname is Easy Girls Isn't It? by all
the Japanese guys (Easy Girls Aren't They? just doesn't have that ring to
it) and it's one of the more popular spots in Sapporo for students and
kogyaru, due to the door price being only 1000 Yen for entry and free
drink. This place is well known in Sapporo for being a gaijin club. So you
know, that when you go there, probably 85% percent of the girls going
there are going there to find foreign boyfriends. I like those frickin' odds man!!
Most of the staff are Kiwis or Ozzies so you can always go there and have
a chat with them about other places to go to in Sapporo, but they're
usually drunk after 2, so don't expect much. My friend Joe works at Isn't
it? and she tells me that the gaijin working there are more like a tourist
attraction than actual workers so get this: she actually got told
not to work so hard. Top this up with free drinks and wicked music
all night and you got a bloody good job girl!. This place is just the
best, it's got some wicked music, and the most gorgeous babes in Sapporo
come here every Friday and Saturday night, so slap my thigh if it ain't the
zig-zagadoodiest place in Sapporo.yeehaw!.. Man, I did more than my fair
share for 'international relations' in that place, as does any gaijin. The
Japanese girls are so sexy, it's so weird when I think about it, because I
remember seeing some gaijin girls with blonde hair, who in England would
have been chatted up by every guy in the nightclub, but in Japan they're
just ignored by all the foreign guys. It's weird man, those are the kind
of girls who always think they are something special in their own country,
but in Japan they're reduced to the drink in a corner with friends type
because the Japanese girls are just so much better looking, and less hassle to chat to. Really, you
have to see it to believe it, the roles are just so reversed. Nerd's
revenge oh yeeeeaah!!. The best day to go is Saturday night for two reasons a) It's
the most packed-out, wild night. b) Japanese girls can be kind of shy to
smooch on the dance floor, but on Saturday nights, when it's so packed
nobody's looking, and all the lights are going dark and stuff, you can get
away with it. I like the drink selection, with cocktails with provocative
names like 'Sex on the Beach' and 'Sexy Motherf**ker', so you can shout
out subtle things like 'Oi!! Motherf**ker!' to the 6ft 3 bartender, and not get kicked in. Isn't
it? is around South 3 West 3 I think. Just look for the Sugai video arcade
and cross the road, you can't miss the groups of people going in. (ATTENTION: I recently heard that actually Bar Isn't It's been shut down, or is under new management and has been renamed with AQUA, same place though.)
King Xhmu's - King Xhmu's (or King Moos) is the ultimate
place to go if you have the dough. The entrace fee ain't cheap, usually
around 3000 - 4000 Yen (20 bucks man!! Ouch!) but it's definately worth
trying out a few times on Saturday nights. Personally, I reckon it's just
a bigger version of Isn't it? So it doesn't really justify the extra cost.
Even though you might spot a Japanese celebrity or two visiting Sapporo in here.
Also, it's got kind of rip-off deals in there like, you have to buy a
cards worth 1000, 3000, or 5000 Yen to buy drinks, and for some strange
reason, the 1000 Yen one is always out of order. Weird that eh? So, before you
know it, you've spent 6000 Yen just to get the night started. That's a
day's work dude! (not that a day's English teaching is what I'd consider work,
mind you). But this place rocks man, even the building looks cool. It's weird
because I took loads of photo's of all these places in the knowledge that
I would start a page when I came back to England, but all of the photo's
came out duff. Pisses me off. Anyway, King Xmhu's is like a huge statue of
huge African god or something, with the mouth as the door. It's just so
cool looking, this should be the Sapporo Monument, not the skanky Clock
Tower. I've built sand castles better than the Clock Tower, but the King
Xhmu building, now that's a masterpiece. Inside is just as cool aswell,
it's all styled like some tribal temple, and as you go up to steps to the
thump of the music you're faced with this omnipotent looking demon firing
lasers over the crowd from it's eyes. Look down to see babe central
dancing the night away. This place is the closest you get to the hectic
Tokyo type nightclubs, just grab a girl! A buddy of mine pulled in like, 5
minutes or something, that's how easy it is. A hell of a lot of Gaijin
Groupies go here, girls who just chase foreigners and nothing else. Also
the fashions for guys change like the clothes, so you might find you have
more luck sometimes than other guys if you're a Spanish looking guy (or in
fact Spanish) one day, and if you're black the next. It doesn't really
matter though, as long as you're foreign and look foreign (tough
shit to all Chinese, Koreans etc - they have no luck at all). It's all
pretty superficial, good-natured fun! Stick to Isn't it? if you're on a
budget though. To find King Xhmu's go down to Rad and then take a right.
You can't miss it.
Well that just about wraps it up for clubs, pubs and stuff. Have fun.
