SLANG GUIDE FOR FOREIGN READERS

Japanese Girls and Being Foreign...

Imagine yourself in your own country, be it England, the USA, Germany, France, whatever (if you're in Sweden or Spain you're excempt cos you already got some fine women over there). Wouldn't it be great if you could just find girls who weren't all 90's modern woman, and female supremist, talking like a guy and about their right to have the best orgasm they can, reading books about the 100 top ways to achieve their career aims, and crushing the men on their way to the top. Wouldn't it be nice just to find a kind, polite girl, who wasn't actually that worked up about womens state in society, just didn't really mind that the world is pretty much male-dominated, and actually quite enjoyed simply getting on with it, getting the most out of whatever life offers them. Someone who is ultra-feminine, of the surfer-chick mentality, and sexy aswell. Not a push-over mind you, but not too frontal. Like Ally McBeal but less of a skank in the looks department.

Well, that's Japanese girls, dude!. Most of them anyhow. And to top that they come in pinapple, vanilla, and mint-choc chip flavours! *joke*. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with other type of birds, but those 90's career mistresses are just not my cup of tea, and probably not yours either if you're here reading this. Ladies I know you're only trying to be the best that you can be, which is fair enough, but countries like ours don't know where they're going, we're all just crashing into the 21st century without knowing what the hell's going on with all this gender reversal, new man, faggoty shit. Japan's not like that, they've got it sorted I reckon. They live in a very easy-going harmonious society, where everything and everbody works together to keep some kind of order, though they do work too hard I reckon, and of course, Japan has its problems. Women have a set place in male-dominated society. Are they happy about it? Who knows but nothings changing for the time being so get your oars in there while the water's calm guys!.
Of course, anybody who's been in a long-term relationship with a Japanese broad will know that they're not the tepid little flowers of the East that people envision them to be, but real women who know how to bitch when the bitchings good. But what they don't do is smoke more than you do, drink you under the table, and aren't "So are you gonna shag me or what you ugly twat?" vulgar toned she-men.
Look, if I sound pissed at Western women it's because I'm speaking from experience here. "But we're not all the same, you've just not found the right girl, you've got to keep on trying." I hear you cry. But I know that already. I've been with Western women, I've had good times with them. I know some of you don't fit the description above, and I'm not saying that I couldn't myself fall for a Western lovely if she was special lady of good pedigree, but you've got to agree, there's a hell of a lot of chicks like that in the West that do fit the given description above, and well, if you place yourself into the male mentality then you'd be able to see why a lot of guys are selling-out as they say, and heading off to the East for some sweet and sour lovin'. A dudes gotta feel like a dude at the end of the day, gotta feel like he can come home to someone who needs him around. To tender, reciprocal love of the kind that you can see in old 50's Hollywood movies, and what is slowly becoming a myth in todays Western bigger better deal society. Exposing my own insecurities by making such a statement, you say?. Let's face us, since we can't all be real men like Clint Eastwood (though you will find such guys with Asian chicks), guys tend to take the path of least resistance and go for the types of women who's expectations are just a little lower than Western womans, and yet are just as beautiful. Is that running away and selling out? or is that just using your brain resourcefully to get the best girl you can? you tell me. I'll remain eternally open-minded, but lets just say that, yes I do believe Japanese women definitely have something on most Western women, and you can quote me on that. Say it all together now, J-GIRLS ARE FOIIINE. Sorry if I sound like some mental orientalist there, but, that's just my 2 yen... If some of you Europeans are sitting out there reading this with a confused expression on your face, thinking "Hang on, the women in my country aren't like that..", don't forget I'm a Brit, and we have it pretty rough as far as birds over here are concerned...why do you think we spread out the British Empire and had so many explorers and people going abroad? Because we were trying to get away from English women, of course!. I mean, Jesus Christ, I shake my head in shame every time I see a skanker dancing in the night-club who thinks she's it in England. Yes, I'm not joking. Even the fatties think they are fine in this country.
Japan's a highly repressive country in some ways, but that's why you are so lucky, because you're the gaijin, or foreigner.
You don't fit into their society, and they don't expect you to. I reckon some of the Japanese people over there love being with foreigners as it's kind of their chance to escape the hum-drum normalism of life. They know if they're cruising with a foreign dude, they can speak their minds, take it easy, be themselves. There's a saying in Japan that 'the nail which sticks out further than the others will be hammered down', and this just about sums up Japanese life, unless of course you are the out-of-the context foreigner, with your (only in their opinion) exotic western features, and your exciting tales of life in countries of a history so different from their own. For you, it's just bollucks to talk about how in your country you have twenty different flavours of ice-cream, or how you drink tea with scones at the Ritz that one time, and met the Queen (I have by the way and she was so close that I could've smacked her in the mouth). But for the Japanese, it's something akin to listening to the plot of a riveting movie. Yeah most things foriegn are considered cool in Japan, that's why when you go there you see lot's of signs in English (usually very incorrect, sometimes hilarious English) and lot's of foreigner programs on TV. (I saw a sign once for a tanning salon called 'BE BLACK' hahaha, who said Japanese were ethnocentric..) You're like a guest of honour to them, and so you find yourself being invited to all sorts of does by people you hardly know. The first time another guy did this to me, I thought he was gonna try and touch my ass at the izakaya or something, but no, he was just genuinely interested in England. You can either like it and just enjoy it, or feel very alienated by it. Me, I don't give a toss, I love going to barbecues and bars, any freebies are fine by me!

So, yeah, this is Japan, where somebody actually gives a shit about us foreigners, bums that we are. Certainly impressed me and changed the way I treat foreigners in my own country now (while I'm still here). You might think that this being the 90's and all that, Japan is absolutely full of foreigners now working in every corner-store and market, but it's not true. In fact, Japan is still about 97% Japanese, so they're hardly that many foreigners at all, especially not in Sapporo, so don't go telling everybody!! :-). The thing I like about Sapporo is that the foreign community is not too large, so you find that you can get to know most foreigners living out there. It's like a small community within a large one, so you can either hang out with foreigners, or just completely ignore them if they're pricks. And there's so much to do, and everybody's got money, because you can earn big bucks being a teacher if nothing else. It's the best. You also find a lot of places serving the foreign community, like English Cafes, European food joints and even American Strip Bars. And of course, the best places, the Gaijin Bars. These are the places where you meet the most interesting Japanese guys, and the Japanese girls who are most keen on foreign boys. Because these are bars designed for the foreign community, and most residents of the city it is in know that, most of the Japanese who go there for a drink usually either:

Who's a young, good-looking dude like me to complain?? In Sapporo there are a couple of places like this. Take notes from the Hang-Outs page. Of course, there are places like Roppongi's Gas Panic and the Hard Rock Cafe (both in Tokyo) which, don't get me wrong, are FANTASTIC places, to meet chicks, in fact, in the book Tokyo Pink Guide, the author recommends Hard Rock Cafe as THE place to meet babes. I'd have to agree in some way, except there's just too many arsehole gaijin (foreigners) that hang out in these sort of joints. You're just a likely to get you're head kicked in by some tanked-up G.I. Joe than hook up with some sexy Japanese babe. In Sapporo, there's a lot less attitude, not to mention less psycho Japanese Yakuza. Theres different kind of people all around, but somehow the Japanese birds usually fall into a few different categories. Some 90's chicks might argue that guys love the Japanese girls cause they are so submissive. Well, I'd tend to agree to some point, but nowadays, girls in Japan are coming around, and the guys have to try a lot harder to impress them. Take a look at the list below to see what types there are.