All about a girl...(05/23/00)

So, today my friends, I'd like to tell you the tale of a gaijin (myself) and a bizzare girl he met whilst teaching in Sapporo. Since the story is true (well, as is everything else on this site in case you were wondering), I do have to bullshit about the name of the bird, and some of the other dudes in the story. I mean, I could tell you, but then one of you might feel like accidentally tracking down one of the people here and mentioning to one of them that I'm telling this stuff to a world-wide audience, and that would be about as amusing to me as watching Titanic must be for people pre-embarking on a pleasure cruise. And we can't have that. So..I'll call this girl if I do that you'll think of that ugly Ally McBeal bird in your mind (sex symbol whaaaaat?)..and she doesn't look anything like that..okay Ming? ..the Merciless? no..Gr-ri-ri-ri-ri-ng? alright I'm just playing now. Let's just call her May..that'll do, it's Chinese I think. Okay here we go.

I met May one day when I'd just finished teaching a grammar lesson, I was having serious video-game withdrawals as I hadn't had been down a game center for weeks, so I was really looking forward to going out after the lesson and getting down the video-arcade. However, just as my lesson finished, a bunch of Japanese came into the room with some gaijin, and I suddenly remembered that actually tonight was English Conversation Club - where people just sit around talking in English and getting loaded on cheap fine. Can you believe they pay you for that shit in Japan?..It was a good laugh, but I'd had a long day and just wanted to get out and have some fresh air. So I passed by some of the people coming in and walked to the lift, making my exit. But just as I pressed the button to go down, my boss called me over. She said 'Kris, I know a Chinese girl who wants to meet you. She's just come back from studying abroad in England and says she'd like to meet some British. She's in the Conversation class now.'

Now I was thinking, "Well tell her to sod off and come back another day..", and was just about to tell my boss that I couldn't be bothered tonight, when she interrupted me and said with a sardonic smile: 'Well, she's very pretty actually..' The magic words!! Screw the video-games, I thought, and I went back into the room and took a seat next to one of the best-looking chicks I've ever seen. Now, no offence to the way Chinese chicks normally look or whatever, but let's face it, the Chinese aren't a particularly good-looking race, I mean, most Chinese chicks are called Wong and look exactly like their best-mate Wong. They never leave the library, wear thick glasses and have boring straight black haircuts, speak Chinese loudly all day long and hate all non-Chinese. Ring any bells? But May here, she really broke the mould, POW! Batman! tall, slim built, with a thick luscious mane of hair with perfect applied highlights that just seems to accentuate every perfect curve of her face - and man, did she ever have a lovely face with smooth complexion, high cheekbones, and exotic mouth that made my imagination go wild with those grey glossed lips. And don't even get me started on those bright opal black eyes. Forget 'cute', the adjective that often matches the looks of Japanese girls. This was 'Mrs.World beautiful'. May certainly made my heart beat faster when I met her. I mean, definitely the kind of girl that guys look at the most in a room full of girls.

So I introduced myself, but actually she already knew my name.

'You're Kris, I know, your boss already told me all about you. It's nice to meet you.'

So we shook hands and started talking, well, it wasn't talking really, it was flirting. We both liked each-other a lot, it was obvious to us and to the people around us who we were all but ignoring (well I was hahahah). May was an interesting one, I mean, very typical Chinese in that sort of not-many-smiles, serious-faced way. But I know that's just often how those people talk over there, although some other foreigners take it as a kind of arrogance, toughness. I kinda saw it as a challenge.
She told me about how she'd been in Japan for 5 years, studying, and recently she'd gone to London for 3 months for a quick English course. Although her English was broken, her pronounciation was fine, and she had a kind of sexy, upper class English accent.

Anyway, we got on well, and afterwards I invited her and a bunch of other's to go for a drink, so off we all went - most of us were more than a little pissed from the cheap wine we'd drunk. The alchohol had taken a lot out of the hard edge May had, and we chatted cosily until we reached the 350 Yen bar in Susikino. We'd got lost along the way however, and the rest of the pack had gone off ahead. It's okay, I said, I knew where the 350 Yen bar was. I did, but it turned out to be the other 350 Yen Bar in Susikino. Me and May were alone, so I played the dipshit card and told her I didn't know where the other bar was even though I did. She didn't seem bothered anyway, and happy to chat. It had been a long time since I'd had the pleasure of the company of such a beauty as May.

So, as the night grew older, we became more drunk, and had a good time on the karaoke machine - she was a bit too classy too sing and I should've realised that, but I still had fun and impressed her with my not-too-bad-if-I-say-so-myself voice whilst singing Michelle. As the night came to an end, we arranged to meet up again. And after that, again, and again. We were pretty inseparable, I mean, I enjoy chasing girls, and May was even more of a tease, and was older and more experienced than me. She knew what I wanted and how to tantalise me. I'd missed that. We both got kind of a rush being with each-other, her from being with a young suntanned stud like moi, and me from being with this enigmatic woman who doubled as a major babe. We were definitely a bit black and white sometimes..I mean, one day she'd hardly say a thing, and she'd be all moody, and the next day she'd be wildly happy, and apologise for the day before, and give me some expensive gift I hadn't asked for, which just made me feel guilty for hating her after she left the previous night.. It was confusing, she could say heartless, cold things, and then greet me with a passionate kiss the next day. I mean, she was rich too, but not spoilt. Not that being with rich girls was anything new to me, God knows why, but I've always managed to end up with wealthy girlfriends, even though I'd never looked for those kinds of women. Let me let you into a little secret . Rich girls are a pain in the ass. I'd rather go out with Miss Working-Class any day of the week. Girls with money tend to be bloody arrogant or spoilt, they just don't have much heart at the end of the day. And, naughty as I am, I prefer a girl with some heart, even just for a one night lay. May was different though. She retained some of those qualities, but basically she was ambitious and down to earth. She could admit when she was wrong, and didn't mind receiving advice from a young guy who she often quoted as being "way too wise for his age".

She seemed to care about people around her, but I know that she used them aswell to a certain extent. I guess I always felt secure that I was on the safe side of her intentions, and one of my fears was that one day she'd turn on me. Like many women with the same traits, she abused her good-looks to get things off of people, men mostly. I felt I was different though, I could read her like a book, and she was aware of that, I think she needed me at that time of her life really..we both needed each-other. And I enjoyed her company, who wouldn't wanna hang around with such a babe? Even though she was real cow sometimes, she had me hooked to be honest, it made such a change from being with the passive Japanese girls I'd been with for the past 4 months. I'd even introduced her to the other gaijin's at Happy House, which was pretty rare for me. They'd seen girls come in and out of my bedroom like it was a ration shelter during the war, so I only bothered introducing my fellow gaijin to the 'special' ones. May was the most special girl I met in Japan. Life in Sapporo wasn't too exciting for her, and she couldn't get settled because she was going back to England soon to finish her Masters.

One day we were sitting eating Ramen at in some back-alley and talking about the usual tit-for-tatter; life; love. She knew I'd was popular with women, I didn't keep any secrets from her so I'd already told her about my past in Japan and the UK, all the naughty stuff I'd got up to. Normally she find it funny and interesting, much to my amusement. It was great, I could be totally upfront with her and not hide anything. She said to me:

"So, what if a girl was married, would you still chase her?"

I laughed and said;
"No way man! I mean, I'm not that much of an evil guy even if you do think so.. I play around a lot, but only with single women or girls who aren't happy with their boyfriends ..No..I don't wanna break up any marriages here"
She'd laced that one into the flow of conversation and shrugged it off, but my wits were fast enough to guess that she was implying something, and my suspicions were aroused from that day on. I knew that she was hiding something...

Two days later I found out what. We were down at the Club Mirror, both seriously rat-arsed on cocktails, and then the place closed and we decided to talk a casual walk home.. only the booze has got to me and so I'm saying through slurred speech;
"Look May..You know I'd tell you anything wouldn't I? I mean, if I was a secret transvestite, you'd be the first to know about it? right"
"Oh yeah..we must try that sometime, you can wear my under-pants?..hehehehe" (she had a cute girlish laugh that contrasted with her age, and warmed my heart when I heard it)
"Nonono...haha..I, you were talking the other day about if I'd go out with a married girl.."
"Yeah?" She said slowly.
" know, actually, it depends..I mean, if it was a love marriage or not.."
Yeah, you could say a change came over her after that, she said she wanted to sit down, and we saw some kind of kiddies playground thing with a few chairs. When we were sitting down that night, sitting into two chairs opposite each-other, her feet playing with mine, and there was a strange blue shadow from the twilight moon. It was romantic. I can still remember her face and the way it shone with the light on it. She'd been tired from walking and drinking, and suddenly started laughing which she told me was from some nasty joke I'd told her a few minutes before. Then she relaxed:
"You know I'm married, right?"
"Yeah, kinda guessed.."
"Well, like you's not any kind of love marriage. You know, I'm Chinese, he's Japanese, and when I came to Japan I wanted to study for longer here, I didn't want to go back to China. So, a friend of mine, this friend, said that he would marry me..I thought it was kind of a joke!, so I didn't take it so serious at that time. You know, we move in together to an apartment, but it's kind of like we sharing, and he is a - a sa-ra-ri man?"
"Salary man..same word in English."
"Yes..I don't know if he loves me actually, I mean..we do do it sometimes, but it's just kind of loneliness thing. He knows I'm going to England and probably I'll return to China after that. Then our marriage will end."

To cut a long story short, she told me all about how her and her husband led two separate lives - she had her Japanese visa, and he had the token wife, which was quite a necessity in Japanese business society in order to progress to higher-paid positions. He looked after her, and she studied and kept the house in order. Like she said, a kind of partnership.

So how'd you feel about it Kris? I hear you ask. Well, to be quite honest, I coulda just split..for a whole ten seconds I was confused, but, the plain truth is, I just didn't give a shit. Seemed to me like I wasn't gonna do any more damage to that relationship, and her other half probably had a few secret concubines on the go himself. So, I didn't mind continuing the relationship with May. I wasn't sure where it was gonna go, if it was going to lead to love, or strife, but I was just thinking in the present. We talked about it for about another 10 mins and by that time we'd arrived at her house.

Well the months flew past, and it was getting close to the time when I was going to have to go back to England. I'd already signed up for University, and my money was running low. Because I didn't have a degree, I couldn't get any proper jobs in Japan, so all my stuff was cash in hand, and I didn't want to get any new private students if I was gonna be going home soon. I had no options. So, with all the stress from going back to the country I hated, I was getting moody which was pretty unusual for me since I'm usually such a lively bastard. I mean, there I was, basking in sunny paradise, surrounded by babes, and I faced to prospect of going back to foggy, fish and chips, look-at me-the-wrong-way-and-I'll-headbutt-ya England. This was bad, real bad. I couldn't sleep. And May was definitely not some shoulder I could cry on, she was too hard-arsed for that.

One night we'd had an argument. Usually May was great, but that night in particular she'd been a nasty bitch when we'd talked about something or other, and I didn't feel like putting up with her shit anymore. Sometimes women think that guys are just made on the Earth to put up with their shit..I dunno, my Dad had that for years and there's no way I'd let some girl put me through the same treading on egg shells crap he had to put up with. No matter what time of the month.
So, we were walking along some bridge at midnight, and I was just fuming with her..I'd tried to be a little more emotional and explain some of my growing feelings towards her , but she'd just put it down to "Good sex, which is just what you're using me for". God!! Infuriating woman! What can I say? It was 20% true, but it hurt when she said it like that . In fact it downright pissed me off. Of course I'd used her in the beginning. I was still reeling from my break up with the girl I came to Japan for. Yet I still knew something was developing with May. I shook my head in anger.
So when we'd got to the end of the bridge, I just said "Screw you" and walked suddenly to the path under the bridge and left her to walk home by herself. I watched the stream as it passed, with the spectrum of colours reflecting from the Sapporo night-line, wishing that she'd come down and apologise or something, but she didn't bother, she'd already gone. That was it, I thought, I didn't wanna see her anymore, I had two weeks left in Japan, and screw it, I was gonna find a chick that didn't give me such a head-ache , screw May and all her mind-game crap, I wasn't gonna be a Micheal Douglas to her Basic Instinct Sharon Stone. She could go find another play-thing. I could just see her smiling to herself at the one-up she'd got on me by making me visibly angry. She knew what she'd said would make me angry, but that was May..often an antagonistic, complex character. I knew deep down she needed me. But this time it was her turn to make the next move. She had two weeks to do it in, and I was determined not to give her a call before then...and she knew it.

Actually, waking up the next morning with the sun shining and some delicious yakitori sticks in the fridge ready to be eaten, I kinda felt relieved to have gotten her off my back. She was like a drug, I knew a week later I'd be getting withdrawals - at least of the emotional kind - but for now I was quite happy just to chill out, teach English and hang with my other gaijin pals. I'd talked to them about the situation to see what they made of old Aussie buddie was like: "Ahh gedover it mate, bloody women eh? jest fugget her 'n think with yer John for the next two weeks and you'll be 'right eh? You think too much mate, that's yer problem"

"Besides, sometimes it takes a little more than looks don't ya reckon? Per-son-al-ity mate..look at ol' John from down the corridors bird..face like a smacked ass but he's happy eh?"

During the week I'd been meeting a lot of girls around Odori Koen, the weather was good, and the females were out in their droves. Ah man, great weather, easy job, it reminded me of fond times being on the dole (welfare to you Yanks), something I'd experienced a lot during my less fruitful teenage years. People look down on those who suck off the government, but dammit, it's hard to will yourself not to work, it takes a special kind of talent to stay in bed all day and be totally uncreative. Not to mention how quick-minded you have to be when your 'Personal Advisor' tries to hook you up with a job through their databases. Some of the excuses I delivered as to why-I-can't-do-this-job and why-I-can't-do-that-job were masterpieces. Gardener sir? 'Damaged my back during P.E. when I was a kid', Waiter? 'Had a fracture toe once that still gives me problems if I stay up for hours on end' Factory worker? 'The chemicals make my mucus glands react'..
I did some of my best philosophising during my time on the dole, hanging down the beach with nothing better to do than drink a can of cheap, piss tasting cider. Another funny part about being on the dole was trying to get out of telling girls that were chatting you up what you did for a living.
"Oh well, my job,'s kind of government related."
"Wow! Like, are you in the public sector or something?"
" could say I work with those people, but my jobs more..umm..unclassified"
"Like, secretive? like undercover operations? like James Bond?"
"Hahah, I wouldn't say that. I am sent to many weird and unusual destinations though. And depending on my activities on those of my comrades, the Prime Minister himself is forced to make important decisions as it affects the day-to-day activities of the common man - that's how important I am. Saying that, only real professionals have been doing it for more than 10 years, due to the tactful nature of the work and what it involves, oh yes, you could say there's a lot of failure in this kind of industry"
Ahhh, joyful days I will not forget.

To add to that, I was hanging around with some Aussie guy I'd met who was a top bloke to knock about with if you wanted to meet girls - not that he was good-looking in any way, no, he was one of the ugliest buggers in Sapporo. But he was so bloody confident and out-going that he'd just go up to any girl he fancied or didn't fancy, with no idea of what to say, and just start chatting to them. If you think of Crocodile Dundee crossed with Danny Devito, you've got my pal here. He was the ugliest beast alive and about as cool as those who go to 60's discos, but a great ice-breaker with the ladies, and, even though the girls ignored him you could always 'step in' as it were and get all the attention from them if they were disinterested. I know, I know, it's a slimy tactic, but don't blame me if the guy wouldn't even shave the 1" hairs growing out of his nose no matter how many times I told him what it looked like, and hey, he did get the ugly ones ..Man, just thinking about it now, that poor Ozzie guy must have chatted up over a hundred birds that summer without getting laid once. Not once! Bloody tragedy!! poor guy should get a medal for his efforts or something..

I'd met some girl down the park anyway, who spoke pretty good English, and although she wasn't so beautiful, she had..something..a quality. Sometimes women are like that..they don't have such a beautiful face, they don't wear the right perfume, tits and ass in the wrong places but they've got big, kind eyes, or maybe have a sexy laugh, or smooth skin..Well, this girl had a quality, and she was easy to talk to, which was what I needed after Mays constant attempts to take the conversation into radical directions all the time. This girl was just fun, we laughed, we partied, we screwed, yeah..just like it should be sometimes, no strings attached, no problems..
But after a few days, I did start to miss May a little. She was special to me, she made me think. You think you know your own body but then you meet someone that logically you know is illogical for you, but heart and mind plays some weird shit on you sometimes.. Part 2

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